Pringle Way [Guest Post]

I can easily identify some of the pivotal people in my life who, early on, shaped me into the woman I am today. Gretchen Christopherson, or Gretchen McLean as I knew her, is undoubtedly one of the most influential. I used to live in a small town, on a little street, with a yard filled with pine trees. Gretchen lived three houses down. She was my best friend by proxy and also my nemesis. By proxy because she was actually my older sister Emma's best friend and since I was the two-years-younger glasses-wearing-little-sister, I felt the need to argue with Gretchen over nothing and everything. The messes I got myself into 'cause of them two, the hours I spent in time out, and the seconds I spent trying to convince them I was cool, took up a chunk of my childhood. Embedded within those years, were the few rare times that it was just Gretchen and I, one of those times resulted in the two of us illustrating a mural on her driveway, in crayola crayons. Whoops, or shit dammit (according to our parents) I will never forget the two of us scrubbing her driveway with one hand while eating grilled cheese sandwiches (that my mom made for us) with our other hand. Who cleans with two hands anyway..

The other times I hung out with EmmaMae and Gretchen usually involved me cleaning Gretchen's bedroom while they did fun and important things. The thing is, they weren't bullies per se, but.. I was cleaning her room, even if I thought it was my idea, let's face it... It probably wasn't. Her dogs scared me always, her pool was my sanctuary, and every morning I got chewed out by the whole car pool crowd while we waited for me to finally put on my seat belt (because I refused). I had my first taste of Nutella in the McLean household. Surprisingly, I remember a great deal from that time. Gretchen was an extreme sass machine and she and I scared the bejeezus out of our neighborhood because we were constantly competing for Sass Ass Queen. I'm not exaggerating, she and I had some sort of illness where we were sass from sun up to sun down. Like heaven help all those other kids that walked home the same route as us, I'm sure none of them have ever been the same. Gretchen always had my sister's back, when Emm was beating up the second grader nincompoop that tried to choke me (a kindergartner) out, Gretchen was sitting on the curb holding me as tightly as she could. Then when we finally skidaddled home she bursted through our front door screamin' " Ms. Kim, Ms. Kim get ahold of the principal we gotta problem" and helped us tell the tale and iterate that this was in no way our fault. That's a story for another day though (Emma and the ass kickings she gave people on my behalf) {disclaimer: Emm basically just had to look at them and they'd run the other way}. So, those two gave me street cred, that I desperately needed because my mouth got me into a mess of trouble.

I was talking to Gretchen on AIM once when my dad was deployed to Afghanistan, we were catching up and she said "Wait, whatttt...you ain't pregnant or in jail yet? The whole neighborhood thought you were gonna grow up wild wild". Clearly she was joking but also not, I had this whole brainiac wild child thing down pat. The conversation shifted and Gretchen reminded me that my dad being gone didn't warrant me anything, no excuses, no free passes, and certainly no permission to act out. Maybe I needed the reminder, maybe I didn't but Gretchen and I had that kind of relationship. Nowadays we send emails periodically and for awhile we'd text every now and then, but we still have a relationship where we protect one another, love one another, and most importantly (to me) we understand one another. It's so hard to find someone that gets it and that's why I write this blog. I write this blog because I remember a time in my life where I didn't go a single day without Gretchen bursting through my front door, a day I didn't watch her and my sister play softball, or a time that I don't hear Britney Spears songs and think of her. (Gretchen could gyrate her little hips like nobody else, little dancing queen) I write this blog because of the people that just get it, Gretchen has been one of my cheerleaders through this project urging me to press forward. We have had several emails back and forth and it's time for Gretchen to share some of her story, I couldn't be any more honored to have her words on this space. The plan is for her to share a little at a time and her first installment comes today, so stay tuned because you're going to want to read the rest about a girl who went from "Brat to Bride" (Part 1).

Brat to Bride

I have been an Army Brat all of my life, but I grew up unlike most. I am more than just an Army Brat I am a Special Forces Brat. Special Forces is an elite group of soldiers within the Special Operations community who are “called upon to conduct critical missions in the face of overwhelming odds.” 

Before September 11, 2001 the majority our military was enjoying peacetime. This means the conventional Army wasn’t constantly deploying like they are now. They were mostly conducting training missions. In Special Forces peacetime doesn’t exist. There is always something going on in the world that our Special Forces soldiers get asked to handle.

My Dad was deploying constantly through out my childhood. He would be gone for 6, 8, or 10 months at the drop of a hat. (At least that is how I felt) Even though my Dad deployed regularly there are very few Special Forces bases, so unlike most Army Brats that complain about moving from base to base we had the luxury of staying at Fort Bragg. In turn we encountered a different problem. It seemed like every time I would make new friends, they would move away! 

My father is and has always been one of my hero’s! He spent 23 years fighting for what he believed in with all of the conviction in the world. He has always embodied what a Special Forces soldier is supposed to be. He took his job as an American Special Forces soldier as seriously as possible. He knew that at all times he was not only representing his

country, Special Forces, and the Army, but he was representing all of the those who had come before him. 

“I am a volunteer, knowing well the hazards of my profession. I serve

with the memory of those who have gone before me: Roger’s Rangers,

Francis Marion, Mosby’s Rangers, the first Special Service Forces and

Ranger Battalions of World War II, the Airborne Ranger Companies of

     Korea. I pledge to uphold the honor and integrity of all I am- in All I do.”

Growing up in an environment where your loved one is constantly

leaving is hard and I never handled it well. If my Dad deployed for six

months I was most likely crying myself to sleep every night.

My Mom tells a story about me when I was three. My Dad was deployed and had been gone for a few

months. He was finally able to call and I wanted to talk to him. I told him that I didn’t know why he just didn’t come home already. His response was the Army wouldn’t let him. I told him I wanted to talk to the Army then and I would fix it. (Even at three I had quite the attitude.) So my Dad put one of his friends on the phone and he said, “Hello this is the Army.” “Hi Army. My Dad said that you won’t let him come home. Well I miss him and I want him back. You need to send him home now.”

When I started kindergarten, my Dad was able to take a year off to finish his college degree. He did this through one of the Army’s educational programs. When he went back to work he deployed almost immediately. I was beyond distraught and I did not handle it well. I could see the guilt in my Dad’s face when I would cry but I couldn’t stop. I think a part of me felt that if I made him feel bad enough he would stay. Well he didn’t. Before he left for that trip my sister taught me what ended up being the biggest lesson of my life. Kirsten was 8 or 9 and I was about 5. She came up to me and told me that I was being incredibly selfish. How dare I make my Dad feel badly for leaving! He was leaving to go to these countries to help people. I had two parents at home who loved me very much and that our Dad was going to go help children who didn’t have anyone who loved them. How dare I take that away from them and how dare I make our Dad feel bad for wanting to help them!

From that day on I looked at my Dad and his job completely differently. I no longer felt abandoned. I no longer felt like my Dad would rather spend time in foreign countries than at home with my Mom, sister, and me. I knew what he was doing had a purpose and that it was meaningful. It still hurt when he was gone, but I had a new perspective. At that point in time I became a Patriot.

My Dad retired from the Army in 2005. The day he retired was like a weight lifted off of my shoulders. I would never have to worry about getting the news that he was leaving again. I would never have to wonder why he didn’t call home at a time he said he would. I never realized it but I had

grown up in constant state of worry. Would today be the day he would get deployed? Would he come home from his training exercise? The news said a soldier was hurt on a jump today, was that him? My childhood was an interesting one, but one that I wouldn’t change for the world. I learned the importance of being an independent woman from my mother and I was taught about the greater good from my Dad. Although I loved my childhood, my sister and I vowed to each other that we would never marry into the military. The lifestyle was not something we would put ourselves through again, especially not willingly.

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” 

Proverbs 19:21

{ Happy Retirement Mr. Jim}

"That's the world, Baby"

My extended break is intended to separate me from all the New Year bloggers, the ones that want to blog about fitness, recipes, and fashion. A resolution blogger is much different than a blogging Brat, or this blogging Brat at least. Now that you're through reading about cleanses and smoothies make-up routines and whatever, do I have your attention again? Ha, okay fine. I'm teasing. This break has been entirely because I bit off more than I could chew, my time exclusively went to my family this past month(s).

<WE MOVED>
Oh, and amongst all that move jazz, my family got to spend Christmas together. All together. Hallelujah. I didn't get to see all my cousins or all my grandparents, but my parents and all their kids were present, that's a win.
The holiday was amuck, amazingly amuck though. My boyfriend joined my family for the holiday and saved my procrasinatingly, grumpy, disorganized, grumpy, behind. Yes, grumpy was intended to be listed twice. I was a monster mover, it got the better of me, it still kind of is.
The HGTV channel ticked me off so much this last while, I have been desperate for completion, order, and even design. (when I should be grateful for family, shelter, and every survival mean imaginable), but I'm craving a big finale finished reveal. But, what's that they say? "Life's all about the journey.." Well, they're right. Dammit.

This move was pivotal, and it's ongoing. And, and, and..I could keep going.
Here's what I know, my sweetheart and I got to pass a bridge, the move-bridge (that's a thing I swear), we both told each other how much we dislike one another's moving methods and thought "oh lord help us" the whole time. But the bottom line is, he was a tremendous help, and I had to choke back "I'm sorry" tears time and time again. He has this hidden talent super power of patience, it's awe-inspiring. Life has a way ya'll, I am stunned by his big heart and all that my parents and siblings have accomplished these last several months. Our last shipment arrives this month, yay, I finally brought all my ball caps in from the garage, yay, and the one of the minuscule yays? We have things hanging our walls. This shouldn't be such an emotional triumph for me, but somehow it is. Things on the wall. The writing on the wall or what have you.

Which reminds me, I've known my sweetheart quite awhile. I should have known he was going to last when he MADE me, and by made I really mean made..forced actually... me to hang things up on my apartment wall my first year of college. He got up, dug around my apartment for a hammer and nails and threw some decor on my walls. Hammered into plaster, crooked, buut hung.
It's the little things.


























Now, photos.
Prepare for a hybrid of Italy-move and America-move documentation.
I'll share five for now.

Reunited. 

Chaos. Don't judge..

Speechless

One day there will be handles on this. "eventually" (when we find them)

Painting is TORTURE. all caps necessary. But when your Dad paints your name in Kentucky Blue are things really all that bad?

Okay, I've learned to despise the word eventually, yet I keep using it.. and lastly, I love my family. Thank heavens for them and my boyfriend. 

(My professor said "That's the world, Baby" during a lecture of his recently and it fits in with this post just right) 

Over and Out. 

B 

M

The ugly M word.
Today it's not so ugly.
My intentions to post many moving posts are still pending, loading or whatever other waiting analogies there are, but I just wanted to take a break from complaining and pat my pack-rat back a couple times. I saved something good ya'll.

When I was in 7th or 8th grade, who knows which, all I know is my Dad was deployed for both, my classmate entered a contest on Kirkland AFB. She wrote a poem. She read it outloud to me and after she was through she said, "Bette, I won. And, I want you to have it." She then handed me the original paper she turned in. It was the actual paper the judges had written on, their initals and grades. I refused, I said "You should be so proud of yourself and you need to hold on to this". She shook her head and left it on my desk. I'm not thirteen anymore, I'm almost twenty-three. I still have it.

I love this, because at the end of the day, it's all about who has got your back. Thanks Courtney (who has long since moved and so her digits and address are useless), this poem trekked across the globe with me a couple times. Today instead of smelling paint fumes and wood polish, I'm getting whiffs of New Mexico green chile and daydreaming about hot air balloons.



And a quick quip to all the welcome wagon that has paraded through our house, "nice gesture" "cool do you like my painting overyalls"? I should be grateful but I slightly feel like a circus, the couple that brought by a bag of fruit. God bless you, because I feel less circus-y more welcome-y. Part of moving means you're an anomaly and people are allowed to stare at will, and come in to size you up and get a sneak peek of your extra large sized mess. Haha, no the neighborly hellos have been warm and kind but I'm still in moving dragon mode, I'm Bette the beast because this is hard. Moral of this quip is, "Hi, Oh yes nice to meet ya'll my name is Bette, so do you have french fries? Ohhhh you don't? K come back on by in like two weeks after I've showered and unpacked my brain. We'll try this again."

I'm sure soon I'll be falling in love with these surprise visitors and I'm sure they'll supply me with cherished memories like Courtney did. Allllllora ci vediamo.

A frustrated "Brat"

(Very important disclaimer: only because there's a possibility I will be asked if I have read the book. I don't want to hide anything, I am unashamed to speak on this matter having not even read the book yet. Maybe you're thinking that is ignorant, if so understand I am not trying to be ignorant I just refuse to monetarily benefit this book and I really don't respect it enough to go seek it out in a library. However, I have put generous effort in researching this book behind the scenes and gathering multiple views etc. If this bothers you, you go read the book and then tell me about it, lend it to me even. I would have no problem with that. My family and many of my friends have just decided not to buy this book, I hope you understand!)

Another disclaimer- I began researching this book a few weeks ago. There was an official site for the book. Thelittlechamps.org. The official link was http://www.harmonyhearth.com/CHAMPS.html (Official website "TheLittleChamps.org") Was. It no longer exists. Might have something to do with USAA's forum board's furious posts from long-time customers, or could be tied to the reason why the youtube song disabled comments for the video. This is the only site available for this book now. Tells a slightly different story for this project that they have started, the learning aspect is much more prevalent than the judge-y angle they had on the site. I don't know, decide for yourself.
Let me make a public service announcement to the Fink's, once something is on the internet it cannot be erased, and you cannot rewind and pretend like sentences weren't on your page, and interviews did not happen. If you want to continue to stand behind your book, do so with your webpage back on web, so the public can see what you intended for this book to do and be. This photo taken off of Amazon.com where the book can be purchased shows the website that used to be available on the back cover.

The cover-up the backpedaling.. backtracking speech.
Finksss.....cmon. We see right through you and your public official statements.

Admit, you were out of your league... we understand. It's hard to go up against a brat.
It would suffice to say, my parents should have named me Brat.
(I will be capitalizing Brat for this post, and all further posts to address the military child)
If you knew me on a personal level, you would agree.

Does anyone recall my blogpost about my Military Brat Award, given to me at my Dad's retirement ceremony? I said I was proud of it, right?

On Thearmysdaughter Facebook page, in the about section, it reads, "I'm the Army's Daughter, an Army Brat blogger whose heart bleeds red, white, and blue". I define myself as a Brat, thereby making it okay for the general public to refer to me in that way. Truthfully, I prefer to be called a Brat by other Brats, or people within the community because they know the extent and history of what it means. I think the public uses it as an opportunity to call me a brat (the negative connotation), which I usually deserve, but inside the community it is an endearing complimentary term. Naturally, I would prefer the complimentary version. As a seasoned brat, I can differentiate between the two uses, and I know when I am being offended or complimented.

This introduction leads me into the controversial topic surrounding the children's book, "The Little C.H.A.M.P.s - Child Heros Attached to Military Personnel" written by Jennifer and Debbie Fink, illustrated by former service member Walter Blackwell. On paper, the Fink women appear impressive,  college degrees, Jennifer volunteers at the Vet Hospital etc. and that's lovely, yes.. serving those who serve you. Wonderful balance. Again on paper, they sound good, but I would never say they are qualified enough to produce a book about military children. Not in this lifetime at least. And probably not on this planet.



The following paragraphs are located on the About the Author section available on Amazon.com .
The "About the Author" section ends with the last sentence of Walter Blackwell's blurb.

The review section on Amazon.com includes a positive plug endorsing their product. The book has recieved one star on their rating system. Comments about the book are generally negative. 359 comments are posted on the Amazon page for this book, with several subcomments in response.
On November 5, 2014, Nancy Newton wrote, "the american definition of BRAT it means Bold, Respectful, adaptive and tolerant".
On November 6, 2014, C.M. Johnson titled his post, "What a nincompoop!!!" and then included this solilquoy in his comment, "Brats to the bone!"
On November 5, 2014, dj titled his post, "BRATS ARE MILITARY KIDS, Champs is about the author", then within the post made this remark that I liked, "Who came up with Champs? Never heard of it and it does not describe any of my BRAT experiences."

"About the Author
JENNIFER FINK
Jen studies Public Health and Military Studies at the University of Maryland; and is passionate about assisting wounded Servicemembers, Veterans, and their families. She has interned for the American Red Cross Service to the Armed Forces and for Operation Homefront. Jen received The President s Volunteer Service Award and the Red Cross Youth Volunteer of the Year Award at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center. She motivates college students to give back to military families through her nonprofit Operation CHAMPS (OperationChamps.org).

DEBBIE FINK, MA
Debbie is an author, educator, and performer who has written numerous books and scripts. Her books, workshops, and performances reach readers and audiences globally. Debbie has had the honor of touring overseas with the USO for her project Operation Thanksgiving Eagle / OTE (OperationThanksgivingEagle.com), thanking Champs for the daily sacrifices they make on behalf of our freedom. She also runs the Mom of Many Hats global health initiative (MomOfManyHats.com), helping families cope with a cancer diagnosis.
WALTER BLACKWELL
Walter is a U.S. Navy Veteran and former President/CEO of the National Veterans Business Development Corporation (TVC). Career highlights include private industry, international business and nonprofit arenas. A graduate of Washington University, he has authored and illustrated children s books and one-man plays, and currently is launching a personal cloud platform start-up."

Army Brat - Air Force Brat - Marine Corp Brat

 Navy Brat- Coast Guard Brat 

I looked to Wikipedia to help me define the term "Military Brat", it is difficult to explain something that always was.

Overall, I really like this particular sentence, "one of America's oldest and yet least well-known and invisible subcultures." I'm pleased to know that this sentence was said, and then quoted on Wikipedia. Which is why I have a huge frustration towards the mother daughter authors of this book, they clearly indicate that the proceeds of this book, wait.. a 'portion' of the proceeds of this book go toward the many supporters( supporters refers to the myriad of corporations or organizations that have teamed up  in distribution) of the book, only if bought directly from Harmony Hearth. I have to assume that these two individuals are capitalizing on the military dependents, my frustration stems from the idea that they are not even a part of that community. They have to be personally collecting from the revenue of this production. They are possibly collecting profit while offending the community they are gaining profit off of. Because the community, the military Brat culture, is offended. This is a manipulation that I don't want to be subject to, they have paired it with a Public Health and Education Initiative, a variety of sponsors including endorsements from psychiatrists, and they've even tacked a catchy song to the project. I'm shuddering, this doesn't sit right with me. Deeming the term military Brat, as politically incorrect just doesn't seem like the fight the military Brats need. It may appear that they are on our side, but it doesn't feel that way. Reintroducing us to the public as C.H.A.M.P.s may drum up some attention, as many politically correct subjects do, but it doesn't feel honest, champs is not what we are. Calling us something brand new doesn't make us feel any less invisible.


There's a certain air of grit that accompanies the word Brat, it suggests resilience, and stubbornness. All important attributes in the life of any military dependent. How would it sound if a military wife said, " I have five 'little champs', opposed to "I have five Brats". I never felt like a champion, a military kid hardly ever wins like a little champion, they fight. They fight like a brat, sometimes they fight loud, and sometimes they fight quietly. I think it's important to note that Brats aren't perfect, they roll their eyes at their parents when asked to move all the library boxes from the living room to the office for the fiftieth time that day. "What's the gosh dang point, we are moving out of this house in about fourteen months anyway." We forget that our parents exhaust their brains and backs trying to create a normal homey environment for us, even if we don't appreciate it, even if we are the work mules moving the couch fourteen times to try and help make that normal homey environment. Brats cry when their parents tell them they have to move after a month into their freshman year, "But what about homecoming, can't we leave after homecoming at least?" We can't. We whine, we cry, we drag our feet, but we do it. We get to throw our tantrums before we face another transition, but then we face that transition. Then we come out on top, just like our parents insisted we would while we were deep into our hissy fit (or conniption fit, if you're from North Carolina). And if you asked me today how sad I am over missing homecoming at Highland High School, I would keel over laughing HARD. Five, six years ago, it was tear worthy. Somehow my parents knew that it didn't matter that much, or that it eventually wouldn't matter that much. We are bratty Brats, at some points we are teenagers, and other times we are expected to act grown-up. We have our bad days. The term Brats, allows us that, the full disclosure of having a moment, where we bundle our fists, grit our teeth and just be ticked for a moment. Our lives are full of change already, don't throw another one our way for the sake of a book deal. Don't educate kids to replace Brat with Champs, educate kids that Brat can mean two different things. You'll discover that most military kids already know that.

One of my friends responded via private message to the link I posted about this book on Facebook, he said, "I'm not a hero, I didn't ever have the choice, this is life." This made me well up, he then sent me about fifteen memes ridiculing (in the name of humor) the people who are behind this initiative. Colorful language was not excluded. Summed up, he felt miffed, and questioned if maybe the whole thing was supposed to be a hilarious joke, he was like "okay Finks, who are ya'll". We aren't suggesting that they are bad people or even that they didn't have good intentions, they simply missed the boat. They can claim that they did their research, and utilized the military community to build this book but the bottom line is it's inconclusive. Personally, I'm puzzled. I'm curious what military kids they talked to? None that I talk to would be proud of how they represented us.




"We got the book to about 90% and then had the wisdom to send it out far and wide out to the military world, we sent it out to every branch of the military a whole array of professions from enlisted service men and woman to base commanders psychologist psychiatrist educators and every military connected organization that we have allied with." Just go ahead and say, it's 100% all me Mrs. Fink, giving the military kind of barely a halfhearted 10% mention that you preface with " I had the wisdom to ask them" is pointless. Claim alllllllllll that fame Ma'am, we military people don't want your measly 10% recognition.

The comment made on their site (and then made in interviews) in reference to separating from the British.

"The word “brat” actually comes from the British Empire, an acronym that stood for British Regiment Attached Traveler. Debbie Fink says it’s time to let go of tradition, though, and embrace the term she came up with — which is just coincidentally in a book she and her daughter wrote together.
“We declared our independence 236 years ago and it’s about time our Little C.H.A.M.P.S did the same. There’s no need to give them a label that may add to their already challenging situation. Why not call them what they are? Little C.H.A.M.P.S!”

-wise words from the Finks.
- Exact quote found on Rare.us http://rare.us/story/authors-write-a-book-to-change-the-term-military-brat-to-little-c-h-a-m-p-s/

Ugh. Patriotism is a beauty, I condone it on every level, but come on.
Did anyone else witness Kate Middleton of the British Royal family weep at Ground Zero during her latest visit to New York. The news was all over that moment, and I am grateful for that. Because yes, we love our allegiant pledge to our America the beautiful but that doesn't mean we dislike other nations. Heck, I went to school with British students, Canadian students, Italian students, people from other countries are my family, I can't really get too bugged that brat was derived as a British term. Do we need to dump on every word, thing or idea from a country besides our own, yikes... what will be left of America? Every country has borrowed or built from each other and that is a beautiful component of mankind. Can't get too hung up on the idea that Brat is a british thing, french fries are a French thing. Finks, how 'bout you try and tell America that those are outdated. (Don't, because I will be further offended, I'm nothing without the occasion Large Mcdonald's fry)

I started writing this post weeks ago, after I heard that this book was being distributed to children on the Vicenza Caserma Ederle Army Base located in Vicenza, Italy. I immediately reacted harshly. The more I researched the reaction the more I heard opinions start to echo, in a resounding "Heck No!". This is a postive thing, I believe, it's amazing how many of us Brats feel the same way concerning this. I've never been so impressed by all the people who have spoken up and publicly denounced this book. There's a fire behind their words that has shed a bright light on how it really is, and the Brats are not afraid to explain WHY we don't want anything to do with this project or the word Champ.
The Operation Champs Facebook page is riddled with comments, both for and against the literature and the charity. The whole project seems ungenuine. They've started a free babysitting service to military members and their families, the service is provided by volunteer college students. This portion of the project is something I believe in, a service for service. These babysitters show up to the homes they are sitting with The Little C.H.A.M.P.s book, armed and ready to tackle on the job of babysitting the dependants of the troops. They do not need that book. I think this arrangement was careful crafting, I think that all of this, the charity, the book, the touring dates were intended to upset the military public. I think they wanted to get attention and get people talking about the book so that everyone knew about it, and more people bought it. What's that saying, "no press is bad press"? Just like the new Beyonce music video, people in head wraps rioting (Fox news is comparing it to Fergueson and ISIS), the public and news channels are displeased with the message it's sending, but the point is, people are talking about her, and her video.
I guess you could say that I'm falling victim to the trap right now, by writing about this book.
There are many ways to serve the Military without getting attention, or praise and acclaim. The Finks seem to have made this more about them, than the people they are talking about. My hope is that they stop promoting the book, the other part of me wants to say, let's burn the books. But I believe in civil discourse and burning the books would be more spiteful than neccesary. An apology would suffice, and then I can't promise I won't gag whenever I see this book...
The official statement released on the Operation Champs website

"Operation CHAMPS Defends Itself Against False Criticisms
BETHESDA, MD, November 24, 2014 – Operation CHAMPS, a nonprofit organization that provides free babysitting services to families of wounded warriors and other military and veteran families, defended itself today against a spate of harsh, unfair and incorrect assertions on social media that Operation CHAMPS was trying to supplant or undercut the widely used term BRATS to describe the children of military and veteran families.

“CHAMP” stands for Child Heroes Attached to Military Personnel. The acronym was coined in the popular children’s book The Little CHAMPS, which extols the virtues of military life and spotlights challenges children face in military families. Sales of The Little CHAMPSbook help cover the costs of programs, training and overhead of the nonprofit organization Operation CHAMPS. (www.operationchamps.org).

In recent weeks, Operation CHAMPS’ Facebook pages, Twitter and email accounts have been barraged by accusations that Operation CHAMPS was trying to substitute “CHAMPS” for the widely used term “BRATS” in public discourse as a way to describe the children of those who serve in the United States military.  Jennifer Fink, CEO of Operation CHAMPS, called those assertions “unfounded, uninformed and untrue.”

“The members of Operation CHAMPS understand that many children of military and veteran families proudly call themselves BRATS.  We also understand that many people in the civilian and military-connected communities see the term brat in a less favorable light,” Fink added. “Neither the book, The Little CHAMPS, nor the organization it supports, Operation CHAMPS, intend in any way to replace BRATS as a term in wide usage or to demean the term in the minds of the public or the people who proudly call themselves military BRATS.  The acronym CHAMPS in no way rejects or denigrates the term BRATS.  Operation CHAMPS exists to provide necessary support and gratitude for military-connected children and their families.”

The response is unbelievable, the USO and USAA are two corporations that supported this book, they've felt the brunt of the upset. USAA's Facebook page and official website have been posted on regarding this matter, and it's actually overwhelming in a good way. The comments I've seen have reminded me that the community truly is a family, and we fight for eachother.
This was taken off the USAA's forum page. These are posts that signify some of the responses that can be found on the web.
Additional endorsements are mentioned under the "Statement of Support".

"samaldenRegular Visitor

USAA members on Facebook who are also the children of current or former servicemembers may recognize this as a currently controversial topic.  A mother-daughter duo (Deborah and Jennifer Fink) - who have no military connections of their own, by heritage, service or marriage - have written a book (in the title of this post) and formed a non-profit organization (more on that later) held out to be for the benefit of military children.  The group has received the endorsement of Michelle Obama and Dr. Jill Biden (neither one a military child).  A current tour by Deb Fink to installations in the Far East, including Korea and Japan, has been endorsed or sponsored by groups such as the USO and USAA.  Programs presented to military children as "edu-tainment" (their word, not mine) are best characterized, in my opinion, as smarmy and condescending - akin to awarding trophies for mere participation - conferring the status of "special" on ordinary children.  (There are few military children who misuse the word "hero" as has become common.  When it is used, it refers to the family's servicemember/s - not the children.)

Among the stated goals of this organization is to replace the "objectionable" or "offensive" term "Brats" with "C.H.A.M.P.S" - Child Heroes Attached to Military Personnel.  This comes as a great surprise to many military Brats who have worked for years for military children and families - and whose input was solicited and then claimed as their own by the Finks. Furthermore, the use of CHAMPS in this context has been copyrighted by the parent company of Operation Little CHAMPS - meaning that any use of it is subject to whatever service charges may be part of its legal structure.  NONE of it goes directly towards military children or families, and is hardly "non-profit."  

My Dad was a career Army officer, and from 1946-1966 I was a proud Army Brat, living in the US and overseas, moving multiple times and attending a score of schools.  At that point, I became military myself.  In my own career - spanning from 1966-2012 with two retirements - I raised three Army Brats of my own.  My older son, who retired this past summer after 24 years in the Army, along with his wife, is raising four more Army Brats.  None of us, from me through my grandchildren, would think of referring to ourselves as anything but Brats.

Among four of us - my father, my two sons and me - we have nearly 100 years of membership in USAA.  I am appalled that USAA would support or endorse any enterprise, non-profit or otherwise, that would seek to undermine the strong, determined, resilient and adaptive culture that is that of military BRATS.  We are proud of the identity, status and name, and need no outsider to "fix" it for us, especially by slapping such a ridiculously PC acronym on us to make it all better.

Please, USAA, reconsider your association with or sponsorship/endorsement of this organization.

Sharon L. Stanley-Alden

LTC, USA (Ret.)"

"GeneMoserFrequent Visitor

I have to agree.  We - the children of the military are military brats.  USAA needs to support legitimate brat organizations.  Contact me for a list. "

"Cheeta05Regular Visitor

Last year I contacted USAA and asked if you would support "The BratPin."  The "BratPin" is an initiative to recognize and honor Military Brats for their sacrifices and service to our nation.  (Once I recover my investment, the whole shootin' match will be handed over to The Museum of American Military Families to provide services for militay kids.)

The BratPin was created by Military Brats after legislation introduced to the Congress of the United States sat 'in committee' for over three and a half years.  (The bill, HR 1889: Children of Military Service Members Commemorative Lapel Pin Act - "they have a problem with the term "Brats" also)  is just a 6-page, double-spaced bill.  When I was doing a You Tube video to promote the bill, the civilian interviewer asked, "Three and a half years, isn't this a bit disrespectful to our military kids?"  So, like a typical Brat, I decided to go it alone.

When USAA decided they weren't going to support the BratPin I asked if they would at least feature the initiative in their printed and/or on line magazine.  Again, no interest.  So, I let it go...And now I see where they have a 2-part article on the C.H.A.M.P.S. organization in their Family Matters magazine.  And now I know why we do not have the suppport from USAA.  We have been known as "Brats" for years, upon years - and most of us have not even given it a second thought.  It IS a trerm of endearment to us.  I have lost friends from my childhood.  I have lost schools, homes and two bases (Chambley AFB, France and Ramey AFB, Puerto Rico).  And now, with your support of C.H.A.M.P.S. you, USAA, want to take my identity, as a Brat?  

NO!

And, by the way, without your support or endorsement, over $38,000 of BratPin products have sold in this, our first year - primarily through Facebook, and word-of-mouth.  I began the venture last September with 2 items, the BratPin, and a BratPin pendant.  Today we offer over 70 items!  Brats are PROUD of being Brats! 

Robert F. Holliker Jr.

Lt. Col./USAF (Ret.)

USAA Valued Member since 1967, as you keep telling me

AIR FORCE BRAT! "

Rae Shue Blalack posted on the Operation Champs website this comment. 

"And believe it or not, there are BRATs who KNOW firsthand the debilitating effects of TBIs, PTSD, and various other injuries BETTER than Ms. Fink. Some of us ACTUALLY suffer from them.

I really am unsure how to feel about this. To shut down because you face opposition shows lack of character. I don't know them personally, but this says a lot about them. If they cared so much about the BRATs, why not open a dialogue with those of us who ACTUALLY LIVED the life rather than pack up? Guess this generation of BRATs isn't that important to them...at least that's what this implies.

BRATs are not broken nor a charity case. I am disheartened by any fellow BRATs personally attacking the Finks. It is completely UN-BRAT like.
They should reach out and change CHAMPs to Civilians Helping All Military Personnel (not my idea...but I can't remember who coined that).

This was NEVER about the services that were provided; it was about hijacking a culture...a life...an identity they don't know about."

To wrap up this whole debacle...

The Finks insist that this project is about bridging the gap between cultures, but they are already off on the wrong foot, which guarantees a failure because their grounds are not correct to begin with. I really tried to understand this project and be positive about some part of what they are doing, but I'm stuggling. The connection is just not being made for me, I just feel disrespected. I'm pleased that this culture hasn't kept quiet. These comments and posts have touched my heart, what a way to represent who we really are. The gratitude I have for those who have vocalized their feelings is incredible, I'm inspired by my fellow brats. Maybe the context of this endeavor was to get it attention and get us to comment on every interview, youtube, news report, or whatever,but the point is we decided to not be invisible. I'd say feathers have been ruffled, disabling comments, and the official statement release along with removing the original website are the first step to a surrender in my book. 

The Brats want to be seen and we desperately want to be heard. We are saying, "We Are Brats". Look us in the eyes and call us Champs, I dare ya.

Share your comments, I'm so intrigued by this topic and would love to know how others feel, military or non military. 

Additional resources on this book.


https://communities.usaa.com/t5/Military-Family-Matters/BRATS-vs-quot-Little-C-H-A-M-P-S-quot/m-p/50662#M175


http://www.uso.org/little-champs-book-helps-military-families/#dsq-new-post

http://www.amazon.com/The-Little-C-H-A-M-P-S-Attached-Personnel/dp/0967887151

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thfaLCl7AXQ

If your Dad is in the Army...

If your dad is in the Army...
You've probably driven cross country multiple times in your lifetime.
If your dad is in the Army..
You've probably flown across the country often, incessantly, tons..and too much.

The miles just keep racking up. Here is your how-to survive your 180 days around the world (at least that's what it sometimes feels like as a military kid, going around and around the world in limited timeframes.. because there is always an expiration day and a ticket/ car to take you away somewhere else). There is a lot of travel over the span of your parent's military careers and usually beyond that, if that military travel bug takes a bite outta you.

Here are my tricks of the trade, especially with the holidays quickly approaching, travel is about to kick back up in full force for a lot of folks. Not just of the military variety. Here's a thing or two you don't want to fly without..

HA.
This is a spiff. I'm not a trendy blog, I don't have a neat and tidy list of bizarre items that you want to keep on hand "in case". Travel is not flawless, get that fact straight in your mind and you're gold. Like, those bloggers that just insist you need some spray can bottle of Evian to keep your skin hydrated during a long flight.  I think you're an expert as long as you managed to keep track of your passport, military I.D. card, and your debit card. And if you remembered to punch in your Delta frequent flyer miles for your flight, then you are absolutely THE travel guru in my book.


Okay, so here is my saving grace, my little dose of love, and my supreme dirty little secret for flying' across the globe...

Yes Coke-a-Cola and Peanuts.
Learn it. Live it. Love it.
And bless your heart North Cackalacky for this wealth of knowledge regarding livin' right.
Livin' right means there's peanuts in your Coke-a-Cola. Livin' right means you fly or drive while sipping' on this heavenly concoction. Sip onnnnnn brats. (And civilians too because this good is meant to be shared)

11.11.14

The past several days (weeks) have been a blur. My favorite holiday (second only to July 4th) came and went, followed by Veterans Day. I count the 8th of November as a National holiday. Break the mold, disturb the norm and decide for yourself what days matter to you is what I say. I don't even need school and work off to respect that day, I feel it coming every year. I'll admit, I'm still listening to the "8th of November" by Big and Rich once a day.
That's a given though, if your heart raced like mine during that song, you would listen to it often as well. Let's switch over to Veterans Day though, wow! The coverage of that 24 hour period was strong, and inspiring. I was able to take a break from focusing on regular news coverage and remember my American heritage, reflect on the idea that a group of people came together and built a nation. And then defended it ever since.
I was delighted by the kind words regarding Veterans and our nation, the support/recognition spanned many networks and medias. I appreciate seeing and hearing others proudly boast about their military affiliated family members and friends. It happens to be a day that I feel normal for a second, like everyone else is just like me, loving the Armed Forces with all the love in them.

It was a big day for Thearmysdaughter, this blog received some recognition as well. My dad and I were asked to appear on the live show TalkingPoint (associated with the network Southern Utah LIVE).

I'm hoping everyone noticed the italicized live, live shows deserve three hundred "oh brothers" and about ninety "oh shoots". Did anyone's palms start to sweat for me when they read live show? My sympathies go out to all who appear on television in any degree. The behind the scenes, preparation, and sheer brilliance required are nothing short of incredible. Nothing. Weatherman you are my hero. Among others. The life in front of the camera is rough, and I only endured it for an hour. Send me to boot camp, I would much rather face an eternity of push-ups. I'm exaggerating, it was not torture. However, it was not anything like what I imagined it would be, and I cannot stop myself from blurting out great ideas, or points to make after the fact. Shoulda, coulda, woulda. That does not mean that I am not proud of the production, what a piece, I am honored to have been a part of it. Those involved should pat themselves on the back or at the very least drive over to Mcdonalds and devour a large fry.

My dad and I are not particularly fond of attention, we are also over-preparers. So you can imagine the chaos going on in our minds as we try to paint the best picture we can and do justice to a great show. A show that went above and behind and did their homework, their dialogue and guest speakers (soldiers phoned in via Skype) were phenomenal. I don't even know if the hosts realized how comfortable and uncomfortable they made me feel with the presence of soldiers, on one hand I was nostalgic and deeply missing my comfort zone of soldiers all around and on the other it felt like the majority of my life, as routine and regular as it gets. Good Morning America should be envious, the professionalism exhibited on the set really fit well with the topics. First things first, like the show's Facebook page, its guaranteed to hit the hammer on the nail for you at one point or another. And if it doesn't, ask it to. You won't be sorry, being a part of this show was one of the best things I have ever done, and following it has benefited me in countless ways.And it falls right in with my idea of community and participation, get out there show up, even if it means answering the hard questions on a live show. I think my brain has grown, and without a doubt my heart as well.

The link for the page is https://www.facebook.com/TalkingPointSUL/info?tab=page_info .

The link for the live show featuring myself and my dad, and a glimpse or two of my younger sister is http://southernutahlive.com/video/view/Talking-Point-ep-3-2014-11-11.  I was certain that I would show up to my college campus swarmed by people seeking my autograph, no such luck. Yet. Hahah okay, laugh because that was a joke.
This particular show in it's entirety was about communication, TALK. That's what this blog is for, and really, soldiers don't ever endure alone. Create bonds where you feel comfortable and safe to discuss with someone. Pick a person. I'm so proud of all the service members who have voiced their needs and sought comfort. I love humanizing our soldiers, I think it's one of the ways we stand out as a country, be human, feel because you are entitled to that, we all are. Whether you support our military, in war-time or instances of peace, I urge people to recognize when others are struggling and point them in the right direction. I believe in brotherhood and sisterhood. I believe in our Veterans and I believe in our civilians. Jennifer Kohler commented on the show about practicing simple gestures and the importance of outreach. I think she understands that it surpasses simple, love isn't simple. It's huge. Heed her advice phone a friend, ya'll.

Here is an iphone quality photo taken by my momma, as she watched the live show on Veterans Day, watch for yourself to get a idea of what we discussed.

On the 8th of November..

When I introduce myself to people the appropriate thing to say would be,

"Hi, I'm Bette Pauling, and I love the 173rd."

I should start doing that. Because it's true, and I know it will always be true.

The 173rd is a unit in the United States of America's Army, they are airborne which means they jump out of airplanes. This brigade was created in 1917, for any history nut out there, just think of the good this particular unit provides. I'm talking some real nice Vietnam rich history. I mean, the first living African American Medal of Honor recipient was in the 173rd. Does that give it some historical credibility? I know the educational systems insist that everyone run in the opposite direction of Wikipedia, but I say spend a second on there and get the rundown on the 1 7 3.
You'll learn why they are nicknamed "The Rock" and why the insignia is as it is.

You'll learn that the Taiwanese called the 173rd, "Sky Soldiers", an appropriate nickname. I don't say "Sky Soldiers" like a regular person, I say it just like the 173rd. When said outloud, it sounds like one word, SKYSOLDIERS! It is said strongly with conviction, respect and on post in Italy, you'll hear it echo. For an outsider, it would seem strange, but hearing a troop blurt out SKYSOLDIER in line at Taco Bell is absolutely normal for me.

Life has a way ya'll, it's impossible to predict what is going to stick. Maybe I'll always be tied to the hospitality of the South, or love the urban feel of a big city like Albuquerque. Maybe my accent will reflect the many many years in North Carolina, or maybe I'll sound like I'm from Alaska. I don't always know what I am going to take away from a place or person, or ,more importantly, what I am going to fall in love with.

That makes me a hard to follow inconsistant mess.

So for no specific reason, I fell hard for the 173rd.
There were units before 173, and there were units after.
Unexplainably, my roots wrapped themselves around the 173rd.
I'm wildly obsessed with the history of this brigade and in lew of that, have celebrated the eighth of November for years. I believe it is no accident that it falls so closely to Veteran's Day.

Watch this video of a song that is a tribute to the 173rd, written and produced by the singing country duo Big and Rich.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozpdBvB0hek




Here is a link to the documentary of Big and Rich and Niles Harris returning to Vietnam.
It's fifty minutes of footage you will never forget.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gw_UJwwI_Is



Usually, when someone asks me why I love the 8th of November so much I say, "it's an important day to my dad, so it matters to me". That's true. It's not the whole truth, but that's the easy way to put it.
My boyfriend heard me say once that fourth of July and November 8th were my two favorite days.
He put it in his calender on his iphone, reading "Bette's Favorite Day", so this past weekend when November 8th rolled in, he said "Okay, so what's with this day." I immediately responded with it's my  Dad's favorite day, but that's not true. I remember years ago, after my dad had deployed with the 173rd and the song 8th of November by Big and Rich came out, singing my heart out with my dad. I even watched the making of the video and become obessed with the song for no apparent reason. It's possible younger Bette had a clue back then that I would move to Vicenza and fall in love with the 173rd for myself. It's not my dad's favorite day anymore, it's mine.




The 173rd is stationed in Vicenza, Italy on a U.S Army base called Caserma Ederele. They care about November eight, they usually hold a run in honor and remembrance of the men who perished that day. Last year, my parents were still stationed in Vicenza, my dad was not assigned to that particular unit anymore but every military kid knows that once you've been in a unit, you're family and tied for life. My siblings and I got an email November 8th 2013 from my dad, it read

"Girls, 

I'm heading out soon to start the "Running of the Herd" that is going on at Del Din to commemorate the first major battle in Vietnam where 48 Sky Soldiers lost their lives. The run started at 1000 this morning and will go for 24 hours with teams keeping their "bayonets" on the course for the whole period. I plan on showing up after work and running for as long as my legs will carry me. Remember to keep that song in your heart tomorrow and take a walk around the block to join in with me.

              Loveyoumuch!
               dad "



^That's a former 173rd paratrooper for ya'll.
Every November 8th think of this song, I know I always will.

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."

 (John 15:13)