Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Brat to Bride Part 2

Another intro, this time coming in hot from EmmaMae, Gretchen's best friend. After Gretchen and I published her initial guest post, Emma wrote up a blurb and shared the post. Here are her words, they are the perfect follow up to Part 1 and the perfect introduction to Part 2.


"This hit me hard, I encourage you all to read and share this post about the army brat, specifically the special operations brat. Guest post by Gretchen Christopherson, my very first best friend growing up, but to this day I think of her as more family. We lived 3 doors down from each other for five crucial years, we absolutely relied on each other, it was nice to not have to explain our lifestyle to each other. I didn't have to explain my dad was gone again, and that I didn't know where he was or when he was coming back and vice versa. It was okay that sometimes life got hard and we had marathon sleepovers for 3 days or that I didn't do my chores at my house and her mom was yellin at me to go home and get them done. It's hard for me to talk about this timeline of my life without crying, but Gretchen does a beautiful job to explain our immense amount of pride in the sacrifices that our families have made for the greater good. She talks about her dad, who I still attribute as a very influential role in the person that I have become. He was intimidating as all hell, not just in stature but in demeanor as well. However, when he cracked a smile or gave you a high five after a great at bat he was Mr. Jim. Our dad's were gone a lot, but I don't remember that or I think I choose not to focus on that."

Now, read about Gretchen's journey from Brat to Bride. 


Brat to Bride (Part 2)

I grew up, went to college, and got my first real job in Fayetteville, North Carolina. 




When I was in 7th grade I decided that I was going to become a golf professional and that I wanted to study professional golf management. Methodist University had the best golf management program in the country and at the time had the number one Division III women’s golf program in the country. It was the perfect school for me! Except, it was in Fayetteville. 



I graduated from Methodist University in 2011 after winning four team National Championships. After graduation I applied for jobs all across the country, some in Arizona, South Carolina, Tennessee. I was determined that this was my chance to get out of this place. I landed a pretty awesome job at a golf course in Southern Pines, North Carolina. Southern Pines is pretty much the next town over from Fayetteville. Why couldn’t I get out?

Dating in Fayetteville is hard enough, having sworn off 90% of the male population because of their occupation made it impossible! But I still tried. I just steered clear of any man with a buzz cut. After two years I found that the men I was dating just weren’t cutting it. It wasn’t that there was anything particularly wrong with them. They were all just missing something. My parents raised Kirsten and me to be strong independent women who would never need to be dependent on a man.

 “I will never surrender though I be the last. If I am taken, I pray that I may have the strength to spit upon my enemy. My goal is to succeed in any mission – and live to succeed again.”

My dad never quoted the Special Forces Creed growing up but he most certainly instilled its values in his daughters. It was proving to be very difficult to find a man who could handle a woman with these values instilled in her. 

Kirsten found her prince charming pretty quickly. Justin and Kirsten dated for a couple of years when they were in college. I remember she came home from school once and broke the news to me. She told me, “Gretchen, he wants to join the Army when he is done with school!” DO WHAT!!!! NO! NO! NO! I remember the look in hereyes during this whole conversation. It wasn’t one of fear, or anger, or “Oh great here we go again”. She was very matter-of-fact about it. Her look was the same one I saw countless times growing up. It was the one she gave my dad when he left. The look of, “This is what we do”. I knew then that she was going to marry him, soldier or not. She  obviously doesn’t know how to keep a pinky promise!  Kirsten got married to Justin in July of 2010 and I am so glad they did. Justin is like a brother to me, he is an amazing man, a great dad, and is the only person on this earth who can keep Kirsten in check! 

I remember the conversation I had with my parents after my last serious break up. I remember telling them, “I’m really nervous that I’m going to end up marrying a guy in the Army.” My mom laughed pretty hysterically and my dad just chuckled a lot. “What is so funny?’ I asked. My mom finally calmed down, turned looked at me with a serious demeanor and said, “Duh! That is the type of man you need!”  At this point I still wasn’t ready to give in. So I decided to join Match.com to find a nice man…who wasn’t a soldier. 

  After going out on countless awkward first dates that never led to a second (Thank God!) I decided I needed to reevaluate my situation. What was I so afraid of when it came to the Army life? I realized what I was truly afraid of was turning into my mother. Ok, that sounds bad. So let me clarify. My mom was the glue that held our family together. When my dad was gone she shouldered everything. Now being an adult I am starting to understand more of how amazing my mother truly is. I digress, that is for the next post. I was afraid that if I married a man in the military I would end up taking care of two children mostly by myself and be alone the majority of the time. Well I realized that was crazy! I was looking at the situation as the child not as the adult. As an adult I would rather be with a man who I love and who loves me even if they are gone a couple months out of the year. So I decided I would try and find the man that was meant for me and worry about his job later. 

On January 6, 2013 I was set to go on a date with a man I had met online, Sean. I was driving to our date talking to my mom on the phone. I was telling her how much I didn’t feel like dealing with yet another terribly awkward first date. I was thinking of standing him up when my mom said, “It’s not online dating if you never go out on any dates, that’s just called online!” I decided to suck it up and go. Hey, if it really ended up being that terrible at least I would get free dinner. I know that sounds terrible, but it’s the truth. Well it wasn’t terrible! Sean and I stayed at the restaurant until it closed that night and we went out on dates almost every night for the next month. We couldn’t stay away from each other. Early on both of us knew there was something special between us. 


On January 4th 2014 just a few days before our first anniversary, Sean told me he was ready to spend the rest of his life with me, got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I of course said yes and we got married on October 11th 2014.  It was by far the best day of my life and something I will never forget. 


Sean is the most amazing man I have ever met. I am so thankful to have met a man that loves me for who I am and who doesn’t want me to change. All of the qualities that had caused my other relationships to fail were the same qualities that Sean loved the most about me. He loves my ability to be independent and my strong personality and he shares in my patriotism. When Sean and I are together, I know we were made for each other.  

One of the qualities that I love and admire most about Sean is his selflessness. He always puts the needs and wants of others before his own. This is a quality that I believe was passed on to him by his mother! I think Sean’s selflessness is a big part of the reason he joined the Army and I know this quality is why he is successful.  


So in the end, I gave in! I married an Airborne Engineering Captain. Sean is a Ranger, Sapper, and a Jumpmaster. He just recently finished a company command in the 82nd Airborne Division. I am so proud of Sean and everything he has accomplished in his career thus far. 



I used to think getting back into the Army life would be like getting sucked into a tornado tossing you around untilit finally spits you out. I now look at the life as an opportunity to go on countless adventures with an amazing man! I can’t wait to see what the future holds for Sean and his career and us as a family!



                         Gretchen Christopherson 




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