How do you DFAC..

There are two questions I like to ask my fellow military community. One of them is specific to the actual members of the military ( I'll save it for another day, one at a time), the other is free range. It is open to anyone who has ever had a DFAC experience.

How do you DFAC?
Dining Facility
Chow Hall
Mess Hall
Single Soldier Cafeteria

It all boils down to FOOD, we are talking about food.
The DFAC is the dining facility on a military institution. It's heaven. I know some people think mess hall and begin gagging, don't. Why would the military go and refer to somewhere as a mess hall? That's counterproductive if you ask me.

I cherish the mess hall. Most recently, I've frequented the DFAC located in Vicenza, Italy ( the United States has a US Army post in Northern Italy), my dad was stationed in Italy three times in the past ten years. However, I've been familiar with the DFAC all my life. My adolescence was full of DFAC breakfast, and DFAC major holiday meals.
In my household, the question wasn't what grandparents are we spending this holiday with. My dad was always adamant, he expected my family to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas meals there. Why?

1) It was gourmet.
2) Served as a gift to my Momma, who single parented half the time. It meant no grocery shopping, no meal preparations, and most importantly no dishes. This allowed for us to optimize our time together not worrying about the stresses that accompany creating holiday meals.
3) Created a family atmosphere for the soldiers stuck on base for the holidays and far from their own families.

If we ever lived in an area that did not have an established DFAC, or if we didn't attend the holiday meal that didn't matter. I still felt like I was in the DFAC, my parents always opened up our home for the members of the military that were unable to go home. Sometimes it was divorcees, older guys, really young soldiers, entire families preparing to move, or people in town on business.

My mom eventually had to learn how to procure a holiday meal, now that my dad is retired, we are getting ready to celebrate holiday meals in a more traditional way. I'll always miss sitting among hundreds of military men and women shoveling down mashed potatoes, that will be my vision of Thanksgiving.

I want to explain the DFAC thoroughly. One of my friends does it more effectively. This past summer my sister and I DFAC'ed before the gym and one day we met up with a fellow military brat. He graduated from the high school on post and enlisted in the US Air Force. One DFAC morning he arrived before my sister and I did, when we sat down at his table my sister and I exchanged glances. We inspected his tray (rude huh!) and then we asked. How do you DFAC Michael Weston? He smiled huge, we talked about DFAC-ing for hours. Later, on the basketball courts in the gym, we still were talking about the DFAC. We wanted to return, and double dip that day. A two meal DFAC day! (Those were the best kind of days)

A few weeks later Michael returned to his base and prepared to deploy, not before he wrote up a long article. It's more like a long love letter to the DFAC, I bust my gut laughing when I even think about it. This article was inspired by my sister and I's question, I love what transpired.

How to “DFAC”, inspired by true facts and real life experiences!
By: Michael Weston


“How do you “DFAC”?” A question asked to me by two of the best sisters I have ever met. When asked this question I realized I was not the only DFAC lover in this world and there were many more just like me, which made me happy. What is “DFAC” you may be asking? Firstly, if you are asking this question I am not sure how we are even friends but its ok I can explain. “DFAC” is short for Dining Facility AKA Chow Hall AKA Mess Hall. These are all terms that describe the military ran facility that provides three to four meals a day to all military members and civilians if they so desire to eat amongst the troops. This facility is open 365 days out of the year and closes for nothing other than an unsanitary problem that may cause concern for the wellbeing of the troops and all other DFAC customers. The Chow Hall is hated by many, loved by few but accepted by everyone. The question, “What about the DFAC?” is always an acceptable question that warrants just as much consideration as saying, “You guys want to go get khebabs?”

The DFAC is a science really, it can be defined as a food establishment but in reality it’s the driving force that provides energy to troops to operate on and an option for civilians to come and get a bang for their buck. When you think Mess Hall think of the “gas station” for Soldiers, Airmen, Seamen and Marines, they come fill their tanks up and then go fight a war or at least prepare to. It isn’t that simple though, different branches of the military “DFAC” differently (DFAC is now also a verb by the way). The Army puts an overall price on the entire meal; you will pay that price and eat as much as you want. The Air Force itemizes everything and charges you for every little piece of food you get, not so cool, I know. Where in the Army you could feed an Army for $2.25 during breakfast hours in the Air Force that same meal may cost about $8.25, I didn’t make the rules. All Junior Enlisted military members that are not married and live in the barracks or “dorms” (Air Force word of the day) will have an amount of their Basic Allowance for Substance taken away from their pay check so they can eat as much as they want from the Chow Hall every month. The higher military leaders fear that the lower enlisted will not be able to manage their money properly to buy food, this way they know the young troops have a place to eat and there are no questions about it. All other military personnel such as NCOs and Officers or any military member that is married or lives off base will be required to pay for their meal as well as any civilian, contractor or dependent.

Now that you know the basics let me educate you on the standard operating procedures for the DFAC in a non-deployed environment. At “home station” the Chow Hall is not a mandatory place for military members to eat but it is pretty convenient and you will certainly be full once you leave. There are a set of very clear rules outlined at the entrance usually they will state the DFAC’s policies. These rules usually include not wearing a hat inside, washing your hands, not wearing sleeveless shirts or provocative clothing, not coming in sweaty and disgusting, not touching your face or head while in line and the unwritten rule that not many follow, FINISH ALL YOUR FOOD! In an Army Mess Hall you will pay the surcharge at the front desk and then go through the buffet style dining facility. In the Air Force you will pay after you have all the food you want to eat (The Army is better at this DFAC thing obviously). There are usually two lines in every Mess Hall, Fast Food or not Fast Food. The Fast Food line usually consist of a grill, burgers, fries and anything that can give you a quick heart burn, when you are burning 5,000 calories or sweating about a gallon a day you don’t really care how bad it may be. The other line is the “Main Line”, in this line you will have your main dish of the day; pork chops, grilled chicken, veal parmesan, maybe even a steak. Your sides will also be in this line; broccoli, carrots, corn, rice and things of that nature. Then there is the salad bar, in a good DFAC this salad bar will usually have all the things you can imagine to put on the salad, out of the 20 options you usually choose 2 or 3.

Breakfast is usually the best deal on the face of the earth, less than $3.00 for unlimited amounts of food (Army DFAC of course). Breakfast is composed of a grill option usually including omelets or eggs cooked however you want them cooked, they won’t scramble real eggs on the grill for you for some reason…Don’t ask why. Also, the omelets are made out of a liquid egg look-a-like mix that nobody asks questions about either, just eat what you get. A common omelet order is your regular ham and cheese omelet, however, some people may just be exotic or wild and just say omelet with everything. Everything usually means ham, cheese, onions, peppers and tomatoes. Then you have your common weight watchers, they won’t see the pancakes, french toast, bacon, hash browns or cinnamon cakes, these are usually your “cross fit types”. Instead, they will get 2 or 3 hardboiled eggs and some oatmeal with no sugar…So plain but as you can see there are options for everyone. The DFAC in a deployed environment isn’t much different at all other than the fact you don’t have actual plates and everything is paper and plastic. The main thing is that you don’t have anywhere else to eat so enjoy the Chow Hall or just starve, good luck going to a local Afghan village and finding a better meal.
My love for the DFAC is hard to describe but I will try and sum it all up for you. I have eaten over three thousand meals at a Mess Hall all over the world and I don’t even take a second to criticize it. Italy, Germany, Washington, Texas, Oregon, Afghanistan, England, Qatar, field kitchens in the middle of the forest, and I am still in the beginner phase. You have DFAC haters; to those people I say nothing, more food for me. My daily routine includes the word DFAC in it at least 3 times, in which one of the times I eat a meal there and take a meal for after my volleyball, basketball or track time. When I go out for dinner (once or twice a year) I feel like I am getting extremely ripped off by the world by paying over $3.00 for a small breakfast that doesn’t even fill me up. Having to tip a waitress or waiter for bringing me my food when I was good and ready to go get my own food and get up again to go get seconds if I feel I need them. When I am on vacation I look for military installations where I could possibly get my DFAC on. If I am in a location where there is no DFAC sometimes an MRE will do but other times I just need to conform to the ways of society and buy an overpriced sandwich. In the unlikely event of the Chow Hall being closed I will be looking for a commissary, where you can get a sandwich that is double the size of a Subway foot long for half the price.
I hope to have educated a group of my friends that lack the basic knowledge of the DFAC ways. To my DFAC lovers, thank you for being alive and being able to grasp the gravity and full meaning of this thing we call DFAC. To my DFAC haters, I have no words for you other than the words I just used to say I have no words for you. Time to go eat.

This photo shows Michael at the DFAC with his grandfather. I've never gone to the DFAC in Vicenza and not seen his grandfather there. He eats there everyday. I assure you he is my DFAC hero.